Bouquets of Sharpened Pencils

"Don't you just love New York in the fall? Makes me want to buy school supplies. I'd send you a bouquet of sharpened pencils, if I knew your name and address..." -You've Got Mail

Well, here I am, dear readers, on the first day of my last year of school.

I have to say, it's been quite a journey.

From lion king backpacks and pink jumpers to the DSM-IV and planners...

Throughout the years, as with most children, school has been a constant in my life. Every summer is destined to end with another school year beginning. Sidewalk chalk is traded in for pencils, beach balls for backpacks, and tan lines for textbooks.

I love school. I love learning. There's an excitement that fills the air this time of year... an anticipation, a buzz of adrenaline emanating from the cries of children, running through the school supply aisles of WalMart. It's that special day they've been waiting for since the beginning of August, when you inadvertedly bid summer adieu at the moment you buy that special pair of back-to-school jeans. You know the ones I'm talking about... the pair you try on ten million times before the beginning of school, aching for the chance to wear them. The ones you beg your mom to allow you to wear to the mall with your friends, but she just insists that they must be saved for the first day of school. So frustrating.

There's a reason why those jeans are so intoxicating. It's because, when you put on that denim, it signifies the start of new beginnings... of a new "you." The upcoming year holds unlimited possibilities, and you are just getting started.

As I've grown older, I've begun to realize that, sometimes, this "new you" doesn't turn out quite the way you anticipated.

Surprises come. Changes occur. Tragedy and sadness strike. People leave you, and people enter your life. You cling to some things with all of your hope, and you let others go. You're molded as an individual, and, in the process, get a little closer to the adult you will eventually become.

This next year will, most likely, prove to be unlike any other. It's already, in fact, turning out to be so vastly different than what I'd anticipated. Honestly, it's absolutely terrifying. However, it does leave me pretty curious as to what's in store.

Trusting in what God is doing is HARD. I won't lie to you. I'm having to learn to make a conscious decision, on a daily basis, to believe in His goodness until I feel it. Much like the decision to love someone, every day, I have to constantly build upon this faith that I've chosen to be a part of. I choose to believe that He will bring good, in the midst of all of this frustration and turmoil.

So feel free to keep me in your prayers. My school supply lists have graduated a bit... but let's be real... I still bought a pack of crrayons. :) Pray that God brings peace to a tumultous heart... and that He brings about fulfillment to His promises.

Blessings on you and yours,

Amanda Christine