I love the theater... In fact, I'm a musical theater junkie, as most of you probably know. I constantly have Broadway showtunes stuck in my head, and I challenge you to find a play that I dislike. I love the feeling that accompanies being a part of something so much bigger than yourself... like you, for a few hours, lived in a world so far removed from your own, that the sheer beauty of its' existence forces you to tears.
Growing up, I loved acting... drama was my life. The rush of having someone applaud for you is unlike any other. Other performers understand that feeling... when you catch that touchdown pass, or you hit that high C in the song that you've been practicing for months. One of my favorite characters from the television show, Glee, put it this way: "I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to live!"
It's beautiful, applause. It's loud and it's overwhelming, and it is real. It's something so tangible that says, "Hey, you! You're pretty good. I like what you can do; you're worth it." No matter what the applause is for, it signifies that you, as an individual are accepted. You are enough. People are happy with what you have to offer.
I think, at the end of the day, that's all anybody really wants. Applause. Acceptance. Love.
It's a tough concept. After all, we don't like admitting to ourselves that we are so dependent upon the affirmation of others. We live life in a way that suggests that we are just fine on our own. We pretend, and we lie. We want to be dependent, without needs and desires that anyone else could fulfill. We wish to be stronger, and bigger, than that.
I'm not stronger and bigger than that. In fact, more often than not, I ache for the "applause" that I can get from others.
In fact, often, I find myself doing things solely for the purpose of getting the applause of others. I know I'm not alone in this. As embarrasing as it is to admit, we all seek affirmation this way. We long for someone else's approval.... just a second of feeling like we're okay as human beings... that we're not a waste of time.
At church this morning, the preacher called attention to the fact that God applauds us too. However, He doesn't applaud those whom we find "applause-worthy." God's clapping is meant for those whom are blessed.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
These characteristics are so unlike those that we applaud and admire in our society. I mean, goodness, when was the last time you told someone, "Buddy, you are so poor in spirit. Way to go!"?
We look down on these attributes in our society. As a group of people, so centered on gratification and happiness, the very thought of suffering leaves us confused and blundering. I share in this guilt. I'm often shocked and dismayed when left feeling less than content in regard to my circumstances. I'm so intent on earning the applause of those surrounding me, that I don't take the time to realize that the only real applause I need is being drowned out by my own selfish ambition.
Oh my heart longs for the applause of heaven. Not just a temporary clapping of hands and yells across an auditorium. My whole self yearns for an unending applause that affirms to no end. I want to believe in the goodness of God and the life he bestows upon me. But while I'm running around, begging others to love me, I can't hear it. I don't hear it.
So may you and I, dear readers, seek only the applause of heaven. May we work tirelessly to ensure God's name be spread, rather than our own, and may we believe in His goodness, rather than our own.
Blessings on you and yours,
Amanda Christine
No comments:
Post a Comment