Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat!

I'm a huge fan of musicals.
Yes, I admit it without shame, regret, or sarcasm. Every part of my heart firmly believes that life would be better if it was set to music.
I often find myself wishing that I could break into spontaneous song and dance in real life (And to be honest, I often do!)
I fell outside of Starbucks this morning... My musical self could sing a heartfelt lament about the man who pointed at me and laughed.
My dog got mud on my skirt this afternoon. The laundry room is the perfect place to perform a cute little ballad about the perils of pet ownership.
Even as I type here in the library... obviously putting off working on my thesis... I find myself longing to throw aside my glasses, jump up, and begin the process of a library-wide musical finale to my day.

When I was growing up, the list was endless. My favorites changed on a continous basis... Seven Brides for Seven Brothers... The Sound of Music... Oklahoma...
But around 4th grade I was introduced to "Guys and Dolls"... yes, I'm aware that a movie focused on gambling is probably not the most beneficial for a young girl. ;)
However, I LALALALOVED the song "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat." In case you haven't heard it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7kzsZreG0o

Watch it. You won't regret it. In fact, you'll most likely want to watch the movie; and if you need a movie buddy, I'm your gal.

Anyways... back to the point.
So I've had this song stuck in my head all day long. Over and over... pretty much on repeat.
Over the course of the day, It reminded me, in turn, of a phrase that I've grown to love over the years.

"If you're gonna walk on water, you've gotta get out of the boat."

Goodness, I wish that I was better about implementing the idea of "getting out of the boat" in my life.
I think that I was born a more timid individual by nature. When I was young, I was the last to jump into the pool... I refused to get back on my bicycle for fear of falling off again... I never broke an arm, and I never had the pleasure of stitches.
I believe in being careful... in making a plan.

But lately I've been convicted by how very little faith that plans require. In reality, plans are often the manifestation of an absence of faith. So often, I convince myself that stepping out on belief and faith in God is completely absurd.

But then again, so is stepping out of a boat, onto a tossing sea.

I'm reaching a big turning point in my life. I will graduate with my Master's in May, and what comes next is completely unknown at this point. In fact, I'll be honest... I'm terrified. I've spent many sleepless nights in prayer and worry about a future that will inevitably come, whether I'd like it to or not.

So I've been thinking about my fears... the things that keep me from walking on water; from believing that God is going to do great things if I just give Him the chance to do so. There are several reasons.

I'm scared of rocking the boat. When you stand up in the middle of the thing, it makes everyone uncomfortable and nervous. It's not normalcy, it's not structure. You make everyone in the boat with you feel a teensy bit unstable... because what will happen if the boat overturns? What will happen if I don't succeed? What will happen if stepping out on the water is only for people with bigger faith than mine?
Yeah. I'm scared of rocking the boat.

And I'm scared of drowning. I'm terrified of the unknown that is the water... the choppy nature of the waves and the wind and cold. Again, what if my faith isn't big enough? Or worse... what if God's not strong enough?

I don't think I'm alone in these fears... as followers of God, I think that we often struggle with this consistent battle between stepping out on water, or staying in the perceived safety of our personal boats.
But I want to be a person who walks on water. I want to watch God do miracles in and through my life. I desire to be so immersed in His goodness and faithfulness that I don't even notice the difference between water and land.

There's a beauty in surrender, a simplicity in trust. If we could become a people of inherent faith, we could live such different lives.

Again... just some thoughts.
I should probably get back to writing that ever-impending doom that is my thesis. ;)

Blessings on you and yours,
Amanda Christine