Lillies and Birds

I'm sorry it's been so long! With the defense of my thesis, projects for school, and traveling all over the place, I've been behind on my blogging. But don't you worry... I'm sure I'll get better about it as the year goes on. ;)
Wow. Graduation from graduate school is in two weeks. In two short weeks, I'll be entering the world of grownups.... and while many of you might make the assumption that I'm already a grownup, having spent the last five years away from home, I'd beg to differ. I think, in my head, I'm still that five year old girl who loves to sing Cinderella songs in her head (and, let's be real, out loud).
I'm honestly terrified.

You can ask anyone that knows me and they'll tell you... I'm not good with change. I've never been one of those girls that "goes with the flow" or "flies by the seat of her pants," as much as I'd like to be. I'm a planner. I like to cross things off my list... feel the satisfaction of knowing that things go according to plan.
Yet, I find myself without much of a plan.

I struggle so much with giving God the steering wheel in my life. Faith is a huge struggle for me at times, solely because I don't relish the idea of not being in control.
But I guess, in all honesty, control is somewhat of a manufactured idea, isn't it?

I believe in the goodness of God. I believe in His faithfulness, and I believe in His timing. I believe that He is righteous and just. But sometimes I don't believe enough to keep me from this constant state of worry that pervades my heart.

Big changes are coming. Huge ones, in the life of Amanda McAdams. With college ending and "big kid" life beginning, my fears are running even more rampant than usual. I'll be honest in saying that I've struggled, over the course of the past few weeks, to trust in God's timing and His faithfulness.
It seems ridiculous, because He's proven himself time and time again. He's taken care of me continuously, never letting me drown. I've never been so overwhelmed that I couldn't go on. He's been faithful.

The lillies of the field and the birds of the air.

It keeps playing on repeat in my mind.

The lillies of the field and the birds of the air.

If He takes care of these things, how much more so will He care for you?
If He clothes one in such beauty, and makes sure the other is fed and cared for, how much more will He do so for you?

I want to live with extraordinary faith; To believe in God's ability to acheive what seems impossible.

So I'm waiting. I'm waiting for His answers and His timing. I'm waiting for the next step. I'm waiting for resolution, and I'm waiting for direction.

And just as he cares for the lillies and the birds, so He will care for you.

Just some thoughts as I approach the end of the semester.
Blessings on you and yours,
Amanda