Losing Control...

As the Christmas season falls upon us, I think that it's common for individuals to make an effort to reflect on the deep theological "reason for the season," if you will; The underlying themes of Christmastime and the inherent pitfalls of American society and commercialism in the midst of a holiday meant to celebrate the holiness and honesty of who Jesus was and what he came to be. While I'd like to say that I have no desire to be a part of these self-reflecting "doc-in-a-box"es who love to diagnose our flaws, I must admit, I will most likely be one. At least for this blog post.
So bear with me for a few paragraphs of thoughts... Just want to get them out of my ever revolving brain.

Lately I've been struck by how selfish our lives allow us to become. As a new member of the "young adults club," I can attest to the fact that my life is structured in such a way that promotes selfishness. I think that a lot of our lives follow in this direction. We go to work to be successful, in whatever sense that success is interpreted in our minds.... more money, more responsibility, more letters to list after our names. We make a living to make a life.
And what a life it is. With media bombarding us with commands of dissatisfaction, and the inherent fallout from those messages, it's surprising that any of us spend an instant thinking about others. To be honest, most of us often don't (myself included). We become enthralled by our tv screens... the feedback on our bathroom scales.. the number of 0's in our bank accounts. All personal. All selfish. All void of compassion and service.
Then the Christmas season falls upon us. We're willing to sacrifice a few of those 0's in order to gain that feeling of satisfaction that comes from giving the perfect gift to a loved one... for another cup of hot chocolate... for a professional to save us the time by adorning our houses with lights.
Don't misunderstand me. Many individuals are much more philanthropic during the Christmas season than we give them credit for. Christmas bonuses. An extra stop on the way home to give that cup of coffee to a man who looks cold. Anonymous gifts and willing hearts are much easier to find during this time of the year... and for that, I'm truly thankful.
But I am dissatisfied. I'm dissatisfied with the resistance that my heart gives to taking risks in order to be God's hands and feet. I'm unhappy with the my head's interference with my Christian actions.... logic's interference with faith.
And I think that's where our problems truly lie. In logic. In needing to know, and be known, and have information at the ready. In the midst of our instant internet access and wikipedia-saturated minds, we lose focus.
The stumbling block to the tangible manifestation of our Christian faith is the need to be informed.The need to be knowledgeable. The very thing that plagued us as human beings in the Garden of Eden is still in play today: Control. And goodness... it is prevalent.
This issue of control plagues us. It dictates every move we make in faith. It leaves us broken, and creates a gap between our actions and our intentions. And this plays out in our faith works.

So sure we'll give money to nonprofit organizations... but only if we know exactly what it's going to... where it's being spent.
Sure we'll give to those in need on the side of the road... but solely if we know for a fact that they're not on drugs, drinking alcohol, or spending "our money" on something "inappropriate."
Of course we'll give of our time volunteering. But only at places that are clean, sanitary, and void of anything or anyone who makes us uncomfortable... or whose lifestyles disagree with our morals and ethics.

Don't consider this a scolding, or even something that I expect every individual to live by. But this is my personal struggle. The struggle between my human-instilled logic and my divinely implanted compassion. My worldly desire and my heavenly innocence.
I think that Jesus calls us to be like little children for many reasons- but this is one of them. There is strength in compassion. There is holiness in innocence. And the presence of caution when it comes to faith does not develop wisdom. It develops apathy. Complacence. Unwillingness.

So in the midst of this season- the time of the year in which we, as Christians, celebrate not only the existence of a savior, but the very sacrifice that it took to leave the majesty of heaven to come and live in a broken and angry world- I urge you to be introspective. Because at the end of the day, it's not OUR money to dictate its use. It's not OUR time to sacrifice. Through the very goodness of God, we are blessed to live in the midst of an extremely blessed nation, regardless of political climate. We are given the honor, on a regular basis, to be the hands and feet of a divine creator here on earth. Who are we to dictate where they go and who they serve?
Jesus' ministry was void of stipulation. I want mine to be as well, in whatever capacity he decides.

Be goodness. Be innocence. Be taken advantage of if need be, and rejoice in the beauty of losing the perception of control to a God who is so far above it. Because love is transformative; and if every individual who encounters you encounters the love of Christ in turn... wow. What a difference we could make.

Blessings on you and yours during the holidays.
Amanda Christine