Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by my seemingly endless problems. You know the feeling. There are some days when there is just nothing, I mean, NOTHING, going right. When the issues pervading your heart just seem to pile up, creating an insurmountable mountain of worry and regret, pain and despair.
And these issues are substantial. I know that I, for one, have a lot going on! In the midst of school, relationships, an internship, finances, and one very lovable, yet exhausting puppy dog, my list of concerns grows on a daily basis. I habitually find my mind wandering to places so far from the chair in which I sit.
Honestly, I would argue that this might be one of my greatest flaws: the tendency to overanalyze.... to worry.
It's been a constant in my life, and has wreaked its' fair share of havoc on my heart, realationships, and waistline! (Yes, I'm a stress eater. I'll admit my inadequacies.)
So isn't it funny that the Lord would choose Social Work, of all things, to be my profession? That I would feel so called to a line of work that is designed in such a way that I'm humbled on an hourly basis?
Because in the midst of all my tribulation and strife, there is always going to be someone who understands the true meaning of suffering just a little bit better than I do. There will always be a person who hurts a little more, has a little less, and cries just as much.
Now don't misunderstand me... I do, in all honesty, have issues that are worth their weight. In now way do I suggest that my life is void of heartache.
But at the end of the day, what a blessing... to love and be passionate about a profession that constantly reminds me just who I am in the kingdom... and that my blessings are, in fact, substantial.
It's so easy to forget how full my life is, and how thankful I should be. It's so natural to allow myself to live without heavenly joy, because I'm so focused on what I conside to be "lacking."
Yes, I don't get everything that I want. I suffer disappointment, and I suffer pain. I fail a lot, and I disappoint. There are days when my best isn't worth anything, and days when I don't even bother to give my best.
But I'm also alive. I'm breathing. I live a life of love and compassion, and I have a way of supporting myself. I have people in my life who care what happens to me, and I have the knowledge of a God who makes a tomorrow possible.
So I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the heartbreak that I see every day, and for a God who cares enough to humble my foolish spirit. I'm thankful for the goodness that He's seen fit to put in place, and the inherent strength that I have, as a child of the kingdom. I'm thankful for who He's allowed me to be thus far, and who He's created me to become. But most of all, I'm thankful that I have a chance to live out His calling in such a tangible and real way.
Trust me when I say that I know it's not easy. I know the ache that comes with discontent. I know the sorrow that follows heartbreak, and the worry that accompanies the unexpected. But, as a certain well known movie character might say: The night is darkest just before the dawn.
Know that something good is coming. Trust in what He has in store. Look around at the heartache that fills our little personal worlds, and take comfort in the fact that the same God who created the mountains, also created the valleys. He's in this for the long haul. And honestly, sometimes knowing that fact makes the waiting a little bit easier.
Here's to remembering who we are, and whose we are.
Blessings on you and yours,
Amanda Christine
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